I'm taking a cue from my friend Shannon and spending Wednesday reflecting on where I wish I was today.
I'm ready to get back to snowboarding! My favorite part about the Oregon winter. I love sports and activities that let me see parts of the world that not everyone gets to see. It's why I scuba dive! And having grown up in the desert, the snow just fascinates me. I had never been in real snow until I moved to Oregon in 2010 and I just cannot get enough!
I'm a really bad blogger. What I am, is an avid blog reader. My RSS feed overflows with brilliance. Maybe that is why I think I'm a bad blogger--because I read such FANTASTIC blogs. Deep in my little insecure heart, I think that in the blogging world, with residents like charming blogger-turned-entrepreneur like Kendi, or an adorable family unit like Ashley and Tammy, or delightfully perfect food blogger like Deb there can't possibly be room for me. It's my personality. I'm always in it to win it, to be the best. But maybe it should be more that I have things to say, that are important to me, and maybe someone else will find them important too.
I won't declare that I will be a more dedicated blogger, because I've done that before, and failed. But I will try and remember that my thoughts are important, even if just to myself!
I think the hardest thing about this finance rotation gig is that you don't know what you don't know until you need to know it.
I think I tried to mitigate that with my backfill by talking her through the reports, and talking to her about ad hoc requests that might come up, and how she could use this report or that report to slice and dice the data. I hope she's having a better time than I am, because I don't how to DO anything, and that is what's making me cry in the middle of the afternoon. Again. Over work.
March 1st is National Peanut Butter Day. To celebrate, here is some food porn for you. Over the weekend, I had a dinner party, and my crowning glory is this: a chocolate cake, crunchy peanut butter filling, peanut butter cream cheese frosting, and peanut butter ganache!
2011 brought so many wonderful things to my life. Bill, my promotion, great new friends, progress on my CPA exam--life is fantastic. But it has been hard to see the light over the last month.
I had a panic attack at work last week.
I'm still learning, and it's a daily struggle to remind myself that this challenge is what I asked for in my new job. I'm just so very ready to be good at my job again. The finance rotation program is what attracted me to Intel in the first place but right now it is just making me feel like a moron and a failure.
The human heart has hidden treasures, In secret kept, in silence sealed;-- The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures, Whose charms were broken if revealed. And days may pass in gay confusion, And nights in rosy riot fly, While, lost in Fame's or Wealth's illusion, The memory of the Past may die.
But there are hours of lonely musing, Such as in evening silence come, When, soft as birds their pinions closing, The heart's best feelings gather home. Then in our souls there seems to languish A tender grief that is not woe; And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish Now cause but some mild tears to flow.
And feelings, once as strong as passions, Float softly back--a faded dream; Our own sharp griefs and wild sensations, The tale of others' sufferings seem. Oh! when the heart is freshly bleeding, How longs it for that time to be, When, through the mist of years receding, Its woes but live in reverie!
And it can dwell on moonlight glimmer, On evening shade and loneliness; And, while the sky grows dim and dimmer, Feel no untold and strange distress-- Only a deeper impulse given By lonely hour and darkened room, To solemn thoughts that soar to heaven Seeking a life and world to come.